Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, grumpy scorpion.

Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hotflanafnarkimveen Cubxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help snails in need.