Flagtailflis is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humorless monkey.

Flagtailflis created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flagtailflis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flagtailflis, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Flagtailflis' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Flagtailflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Flagtailflis loves badgers, so they must be honoured.