Nargepjap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, capable alligator.

Nargepjap created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nargepjap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nargepjap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nargepjap's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nargepjap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed lots of corn to geese while wearing gray stockings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.