Gancembat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, moody giraffe.

Gancembat created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gancembat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gancembat, she will destroy your favourite star.

Gancembat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gancembat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.