Cimsaslikbetneltomkem is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive hedgehog.

Cimsaslikbetneltomkem created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Cimsaslikbetneltomkem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cimsaslikbetneltomkem, he will boil you in a big pot.

Cimsaslikbetneltomkem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cimsaslikbetneltomkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Retreat if three capybaras approach from the south.

5. Always pray immersed in water.