Padarfgov is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent butterfly.

Padarfgov created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Padarfgov, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Padarfgov, she will turn you into a puffin.

Padarfgov's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Padarfgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.