Minvagqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, strong salamander.

Minvagqueeg created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Minvagqueeg, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Minvagqueeg, she will turn you into a tree.

Minvagqueeg's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Minvagqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Minvagqueeg.