Barnbonkfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic horse.

Barnbonkfarn created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbonkfarn, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Barnbonkfarn, it will torture you forever.

Barnbonkfarn's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Barnbonkfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven mites approach from the east.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Put Barnbonkfarn first in all things.

4. Never sing near nematodes.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.