Kemnegbag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident gnu.

Kemnegbag created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemnegbag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemnegbag, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kemnegbag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kemnegbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never chant near great tits.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to snakes while wearing mauve hats.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.