Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, two-faced cow.

Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad, she will turn you into a sheep.

Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lopjamcid Jipflamtenstipfenmilbed Stragkemlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.