Guntifratcen is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, conceited shrew.

Guntifratcen created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guntifratcen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Guntifratcen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Guntifratcen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Guntifratcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not take Guntifratcen's name in vain.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Guntifratcen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about planets.