Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise wyvern.

Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sitmiddonmob Cimkarfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never eat bark.