Zakfod is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, generous slug.

Zakfod created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zakfod, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zakfod, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Zakfod's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zakfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Always look after injured otters.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.