Watmetflab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, slow narwhal.

Watmetflab created the Tadpole Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watmetflab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Watmetflab, he will remove you from existence.

Watmetflab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Watmetflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Watmetflab's name in vain.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Never wear red jumpers.