Tarcunlim is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic fox.

Tarcunlim created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarcunlim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tarcunlim, it will be mildly annoyed.

Tarcunlim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tarcunlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Put Tarcunlim first in all things.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Tarcunlim loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to hamsters while wearing black ear rings.