Tamlegvad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, calm jackal.

Tamlegvad created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamlegvad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tamlegvad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tamlegvad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tamlegvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tamlegvad.

3. Never sit in the presence of ants.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never pour water over plants.