Cembonktarmipquartdotkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fast owl.

Cembonktarmipquartdotkam created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cembonktarmipquartdotkam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cembonktarmipquartdotkam, he will turn you into a mole.

Cembonktarmipquartdotkam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cembonktarmipquartdotkam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear boots.