Fubflabvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous crocodile.

Fubflabvonk created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubflabvonk, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fubflabvonk, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fubflabvonk's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fubflabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Retreat if eight snails approach from the south.

5. Do not covet oxen.