Hanbatbod is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, conceited dolphin.

Hanbatbod created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hanbatbod, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hanbatbod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hanbatbod's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hanbatbod's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about enzymes.