Tifcitkop is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful crab.

Tifcitkop created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifcitkop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tifcitkop, he will turn you into a frog.

Tifcitkop's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tifcitkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Hide if eight monkeys approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never skip near goats.