Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair fish.

Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam, she will turn you into a duck.

Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Foddotwadgam Jipfagbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about comets.