Lidquartwad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking penguin.

Lidquartwad created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Lidquartwad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lidquartwad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lidquartwad's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Lidquartwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Respect your elders.