Cetcisstig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, calm snake.

Cetcisstig created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetcisstig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cetcisstig, she will send you a sign.

Cetcisstig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cetcisstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always treat cats with great respect.

3. Cetcisstig loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed gooseberries to otters while wearing yellow dresses.