Ganwodvonkrull is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing mongoose.

Ganwodvonkrull created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganwodvonkrull, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganwodvonkrull, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ganwodvonkrull's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ganwodvonkrull's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark energy near grasshopers while wearing blue dresses and balancing nine gold spheres on your head.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Never bounce in the presence of bats.

5. Always help sick squirrels.