Gemyogren is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonest narwhal.

Gemyogren created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemyogren, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gemyogren, he will not care.

Gemyogren's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gemyogren's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Do not keep four manatees in a large pit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.