Tifweesog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, annoying sheep.

Tifweesog created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifweesog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifweesog, he will curse you with boils.

Tifweesog's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tifweesog's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never play with disobedient children.