Flamdadzig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking otter.

Flamdadzig created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamdadzig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flamdadzig, it will send you a sign.

Flamdadzig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Flamdadzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing pink shoes.

2. Flamdadzig loves geese, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Never eat cherries.