Mataffot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, able eagle.

Mataffot created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mataffot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mataffot, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mataffot's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Mataffot's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.