Waddimzed is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud gerbil.

Waddimzed created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Waddimzed, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Waddimzed, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Waddimzed's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Waddimzed's Holy Commandments

1. Waddimzed loves whales, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always look after injured doves.