Lenstaftip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever fox.

Lenstaftip created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenstaftip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lenstaftip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lenstaftip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lenstaftip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Do not take Lenstaftip's name in vain.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Lenstaftip on top of all buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.