Tadcinrak is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless lion.

Tadcinrak created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadcinrak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tadcinrak, it will turn you into a plant.

Tadcinrak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tadcinrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Worship no other gods but Tadcinrak.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.