Femdubrat Begdissgan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered lion.

Femdubrat Begdissgan created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femdubrat Begdissgan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Femdubrat Begdissgan, he will turn you into a snail.

Femdubrat Begdissgan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Femdubrat Begdissgan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Femdubrat Begdissgan first in all things.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Never chant near great tits.

5. Never eat green fruit.