Tonk is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ill-tempered ferret.

Tonk created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonk, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonk, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tonk's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink alcohol.