Gudtaptar Quafdudlip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, conceited cow.

Gudtaptar Quafdudlip created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gudtaptar Quafdudlip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gudtaptar Quafdudlip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gudtaptar Quafdudlip's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gudtaptar Quafdudlip's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gudtaptar Quafdudlip.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the west.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.