Bepzagpad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous weasel.

Bepzagpad created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepzagpad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bepzagpad, he will remove you from existence.

Bepzagpad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bepzagpad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near badgers while wearing blue shorts and balancing eight copper spheres on your legs.

4. You must love Bepzagpad.

5. Never talk about gravity near turtles while wearing white skirts.