Goflinfun Vagcisshot is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witty chinchilla.

Goflinfun Vagcisshot created an electron four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goflinfun Vagcisshot, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Goflinfun Vagcisshot, he will boil you in a big pot.

Goflinfun Vagcisshot's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Goflinfun Vagcisshot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine snakes approach from the south.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Never feed lots of spinach to voles while wearing violet trousers.

4. Do not take Goflinfun Vagcisshot's name in vain.

5. Never eat bark.