Stafpopsig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow unicorn.

Stafpopsig created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafpopsig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stafpopsig, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Stafpopsig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Stafpopsig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Never skip in the presence of doves.

4. Never feed bananas to gulls while wearing yellow trousers.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.