Jamarfshav is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless fish.

Jamarfshav created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamarfshav, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jamarfshav, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jamarfshav's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jamarfshav's Holy Commandments

1. Jamarfshav must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.