Omttunnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing pig.

Omttunnut created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Omttunnut, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Omttunnut, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Omttunnut's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Omttunnut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.