Bumrillnig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered pigeon.

Bumrillnig created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumrillnig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bumrillnig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bumrillnig's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bumrillnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.