Kenvonfad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful wombat.

Kenvonfad created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kenvonfad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenvonfad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kenvonfad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kenvonfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear fawn shirts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not hurt doves.