Cisspitster is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty gnu.

Cisspitster created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cisspitster, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cisspitster, he will manifest in front of you.

Cisspitster's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cisspitster's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not eat corn.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.