Vonkqueegdinzed is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate bear.

Vonkqueegdinzed created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkqueegdinzed, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkqueegdinzed, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vonkqueegdinzed's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vonkqueegdinzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve jumpers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Feed all hungry bats.