Mumflisrap is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, almighty lobster.

Mumflisrap created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumflisrap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mumflisrap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mumflisrap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Mumflisrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear turquoise coats.