Afsawad Godranlin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciful monkey.

Afsawad Godranlin created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Afsawad Godranlin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afsawad Godranlin, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Afsawad Godranlin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Afsawad Godranlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill birds.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.