Dussfitkad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witty mink.

Dussfitkad created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussfitkad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dussfitkad, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dussfitkad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dussfitkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Run away from indigo badgers, for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick birds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.