Flapquartstiggid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise duck.

Flapquartstiggid created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Flapquartstiggid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapquartstiggid, she will turn you into a plant.

Flapquartstiggid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Flapquartstiggid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Never feed cherries to squirrels while wearing jumpers.