Dunbapdit is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sapient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dunbapdit created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunbapdit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dunbapdit, she will remove you from existence.

Dunbapdit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dunbapdit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.