Gildamloop is a god.

She takes the form of a small, resourceful frog.

Gildamloop created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gildamloop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gildamloop, she will turn you into a mouse.

Gildamloop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gildamloop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Never skip near badgers.

3. Hide from pink porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.