Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, egotistical ferret.

Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil, she will turn you into a tree.

Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Put Cettigkomtitpig Cebtipnakzagdam Zenyamnil first in all things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Run away if seven birds approach from the east.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.